christyraymond (quietlychaotic) wrote,

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The hospital’s annual outing goes to Hallowhedon

Throughout this post I am going to reflect on the many varied and multiple levels of badness/ wrongness , general sorryness and lots of other ness’s which I am sure I will remember now that the vanilla vodka haze is beginning to wear off .

First of which is to say sorry………”sorry!”

I am a tartaleen and a shameless bottom ogler, however is it my fault?

Did you see the shameful way Mr Lutz signalled me with his pert nether regions?

I think you did!

What is a girl to do, I ask you?

As for that Nick Brendan.

Well honestly.

He just went out of his way to tease me with his whole….

‘I can look like Eric Kufs in a beard, glasses and hat thing if I try really hard and you drink enough and yet not too much Vanilla vodka .. act!’

It was just bound to happen!

But no your right….

I let myself down, I let my friends down, but most of all I let you? down. It was wrong and I'm sorry :(
Added for NN

Right now that I have got that out of the way, I will begin at a point which might make some sort of sense.
As always there is no guarantee that my post will make any sense to the uninitiated!

My ramblings will as always be (……….please fill in the blanks) and they are bound ramble off on various tangents, so I am bunging it behind the cut for safety……

Opening it should be done with the assistance of vanilla Vodka.. cos that helps honest!

So for the week before the hospital outing to Hallowhedon my house had been full of various people.

Dramas and sunshine….the weather suddenly decided that we should not have autumn after all because frankly autumn = rain and cold and that would stink really rather a lot.

So in-between working (really rather hard even if I do say so myself) welcoming various people, feeding lots of people, bouncing dogs, snuffing cats , receiving broken motorbikes, waving various people back off to France, doing some more work and packing I was also playing …

Put the rugs on the horses ….


Take the rugs off the horses..

2 degrees not so hot

Put the rugs back on the horses..

19 degrees = hot…..

All of this being done whilst staying up every night listening to tales of woe and they were tales of woe , not woah which is a different thing altogether ….

I have been trying to be the sympathetic shoulder for a person who at this moment in time really needed a bolt hole.. which apparently is what my house is at this present time…

Funny that, I always thought of it more as a brick farmhouse with an impressive frontage not unlike its owner ;), but no it is a bolt hole…

see this is what happens ramble macrambleson attack!

So by Friday morning I managed to throw:-
Clothes at my case
Hay at the horses
Balls at the dogs
Visiting people at various cars
My work phone at the wall
All undone work at my work mates
My laptop in the car
Boiling hot oil at my hand (ouch, burn, burn.. ouch)

and yet I failed to throw rugs back on my horses…

For my horses…

I let myself down, I let my friends down, but most of all I let you? down. It was wrong and I'm sorry :(

Then Debw did indeed arrive, just in time to:-

Throw a cup of coffee at her accompanied by a pair scissors… WHAT? She asked me to!

Eric sat outside the house grumbling (Eric is my car… long and possibly boring story about that..the only thing you need to know is that some of my most favourite things in the world are Eric including my car…..

So where were we?

Oh yes .. Eric was grumbling…like a petulant teenager..

“I don’t want to go to Heathrow.. it stinks!” which was really rather rude

You see I had persuaded lots of people to go to Hallowhedon, even taking there credit cards from them and booking whilst the alcohol levels were still high way back in April .

Back then I was wishfully thinking that maybe, just maybe the troika might go.. and if the Troika went then maybe, just maybe common Rotation might be there and Eric(the car) could once again go on a road trip in search of Eric (not the car the one with the beard, or not depending on the weather and prevailing wind)

So Eric (the car liked this idea!) the months passed and the list of guests for the event failed to grow:( At one point we only had Nick Brendan going then lo we had a Jams, a Mark lutz and a bleary leary….. I believe a blond was attending with her “double blond hair” Her words not mine!, but you wouldn’t really have noticed.

I typed the post code into Eric the sat nav and Eric said No…


Computer say’s NO!

I drive Eric to the enormo Tesco’s to stock up on stuff for the road trip and try again. Computer stills say’s No!

I play some Eric to Eric in the hope that it pacifies his temper… but NO was the answer…

Eric agreed to take me to Heathrow, and he hoped that I would take the sensible options and get on a flight to LA in order to bring back another sacred pink Jesus!

Eric feels that Pink Jesus has lost his powers, which is sad!! (However hard I shake Jesus at the moment he only ever answers “The holy water will sting” and it does.

I resist the temptation and demand that Eric takes us to the Thistle hotel *STERN FACE* which he did and he then sulked about having to be on double yellow lines and about my lack of respect for him!

We found a Jules, a Mags and a queue.

We looked at the queue joined it, got are Blimey they are cheapskates tickets without additional string and decided that starting the day with Eric being clamped would be the first of many levels of wrongness >>>

So we must rescue Eric the car who was busily chatting up Volkswagen Golf, Gosh that’s just rude!

We must find our hotel (yes we were that cheap, the travel lodge down the road was only £30 for the whole weekend, which would leave enough cash for Vanilla Vodka a-plenty with what we saved!

All that and it is within a decent staggering distance of a mile… or not as soon proved to be the case!

I entered the hotels postcode into Eric the sat nav and away we went to entirely the wrong hotel…. Eric is pissed off and he WILL show it!

"Piss off!" said Eric "here stay at this pitiful excuse for a hotel instead…."

Er NO!

We found a nice man who told us that the hotel we were looking for was not hiding around the next corner, but if we kept driving for well quite a long way actually we would find it eventually and we did.

Hotel found we left Eric to think about his actions in the car park surrounded by citrons … the French will sort him out and make him think about the errors of his ways *Glares*

We found our room and then we found an additional room which can only be a good thing!

We found buses and stuff to get back to the hotel and only had to ask four buses who were not the right bus before one let us on demanded money and threw us out at the Thistle.

Before too long we went for the opening ceremony, so many fans so little time, and we I start as we I mean to go on.

For lo in my magic bag I have a good selection of vodka, whiskey, rum and coke this weekend there will be convention dancing and make no mistake about it!

The opening ceremony was the time to laugh with Bleary Leary, Nick Breadon (Or is it, we were a long way back) and Mark Lutz Huzzah… we went ouch with James and for the love of God WHY with the double blond.

The stewards at the event were all lovely the party decks were great and the convention dancing began……. We danced in a way that would undoubtedly bring shame down upon our families and us.

For this we are collectively sorry……

We let ourselves down, we let our friends down, but most of all we let you? down. It was wrong and we are sorry :(

As the evening wore on as they do Nick began to look more and more like Eric which was a worry and Mark Lutz’s bottom could only be described as pert. In a two ferrets fighting for attention sort of way.

As luck would have it I was only drinking normal vodka and my ears could still hear enough to know that when he was singing karaoke he was no Eric, therefore at this point, other than the convention dancing as I previously mentioned I had done very little to sully my name and bring shame down upon my friends:)

Oh but how a little vanilla can change all of this!

Debs say’s “Oh lets not get a taxi, it’s a lovely night lets walk to the bus stop!"

Which we did… but no night buses went to it :(

So we walked talked and sung all the way down the very long road until Lo we found a bus stop with a queue so we joined it and hoped that the bus arriving would take us to our hotel.

We had two rooms but frankly we all just crashed into the one and the sound of snoring was to be heard by about 3am.

At some time in the early hours of the morning I headed off to find Debs!?!

I am not going to tell you all about it, for that is her tale, lets just put it this way she was locked out of the hotel, she had no knickers on , she was in an evening gown, she had no shoes on and mother would not approve *stern face*

The next day we head off again to the Thistle, this time buying the vanilla vodka first.

Upon arrival people kept asking us

“how are you feeling?” errrrrrrrrrr “fine” was the answer

“Big night last night are you feeling rough?!” errr No

so maybe we did do something to embarrass ourselves after all… Good oh.. start as we mean to go on!

I have never really gone and got autographs or photographs with people be they at a convention or not and the one time I did is memorable for all the wrong reasons.

So we sat and people watched, chatted and drunk. We visited Burger king (never a good idea really!) BELCH! And had more vanilla vodka.....

Gosh Mark Lutz’s bottom is even more pert than it was last night….


I am over come…

But what is that in the hat in the distance?

If I squint it looks like?

Is it a bird?


Is it a plane?


Is it Nick Brendan doing an Eric impersonation … yes, there is a God!

The afternoon talks were

Mark… clever funny man, his and my jeans should meet we would have beautiful perfectly formed denims together!


I shouldn’t but I want to, bad funny man who looks too much like Eric now for his own good *STARES*

Blearly Leary ..

Already it’s only 4pm, hold your drink man!

James ..

Ouch…no don’t do it! Ouch … told you so stomping your foot is a bad idea!

Double blond …


Time for the party me thinks ….

Hello all you party people the world is getting shiny and you are all shiny and blimey are you sure that’s not Eric……?!

We danced and sung, sung and danced.

We made a young corruptible boy give fags to Eric Nick and all went AH when Nick took the time to chat to him pulling himself away from the big group of girlies which were following him.

Oh how we laughed as Blearly hit himself far too many times with his own bull whip to be good for a grown man and how I marvelled at the pertness of Marks many attractive qualities :)

The rest of the evening will be censored for my own good and for the sake of my family and friends…But I believe I saw a bucking pumkin?

I let myself down, I let my friends down, but most of all I let you? down. It was wrong and I'm sorry :(

The last day then and stone cold sober I dragged Eric the car away from the evil intentions of the citrons and drove him to the Thistle, it was freezing cold and raining … Bad me my poor horses at home cold, wet, rugless.. *slaps self*

The day passed and Debs gave her autograph card away with strict instructions for it not to used to get another James autograph (the boy was in pain!)

I am disappointed in the actions of this person and that is all I am saying in the matter!

You know you let yourself down!

We found all sorts of things to keep us amused and as the vodka haze lifted so did the Ericness of Nick, still funny, but no Eric.

Mark Lutz and Nick really made this convention for me, as I say I don’t go to meet them, funny as it sounds I go to hear them and they made me laugh a lot which in a year with not a huge amount to laugh about in it , I owe them a beer or four!

Soon it was time to attend the evening party..

The only male talent in the room had eyes for other male talent which is all a bit disappointing.

The rest of the event was a bit like a school disco crossed with the hospital psyche ward annual outing crossed with convention dancing and meds… all a little surreal, yet I wouldn’t have missed a moment for the world…. Happy Birthday Gish!

Eric was happy to be heading back and as soon as I pressed the home button on Eric the sat nav all was well in his world as well.

On arriving home I apologised to the horses for the lack of rugs and spent four hours getting the mud off them so I they could have rugs on.

They are now all snuggled up and happy:)

They have yet to forgive me!

All that and tonight I am going to see Seth Lakeman tonight…..

Question ..

Do you think If I drink enough vodka he will appear more Eric like?

If so I might have found a way to stop missing Common Rotation and all will be well with the world *GRIN!

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  • Bugger work, I am on my hols!

    Paul sums up what I think about stuff and frankly the bunch of plonkers in power are the reason I no longer get any time to write in my journal, have…

  • Cheers Ears:)

    I have puppies that Debs sent to me *pets them!* If I had an ounce of energy left I would update my LJ, but I don't! The union maid today is one of…

  • Happy Valentines day :)

    There was a young man from Madras Who had a magnificent ass. Not rounded and pink As you probably think -- It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass!…